Andrew Carpenter - All Comments

Extent of the damage

Extent of the damage — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 16:20:51 GMT

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re: A case of the sniffles

acarpenter — Fri, 15 Apr 2005 00:32:00 GMT

It sounds to me that you're suffering from Leaping Ague characterized by increased efficiency, but depraved direction, of the will, producing an irresistible propensity to dance, tumble, and move about in a fantastic manner, and often with far more than the natural vigor, activity, and precision.

re: A case of the sniffles

acarpenter — Thu, 14 Apr 2005 20:21:00 GMT

It's probably not the flu. You probably have the plague.

Have you tried drinking fenugreek tea? It tastes so revolting that you are completely distracted from being sick.

re: Get into the groove

acarpenter — Thu, 07 Apr 2005 16:38:00 GMT

I just read the post from 31 March and see it isn't a joke at all. What kind of idiots are being admitted to this school??

re: Get into the groove

acarpenter — Thu, 07 Apr 2005 16:31:00 GMT

I saw the date of the post and was expecting the reason for the deep groove on the disc to be caused by someone using the tray as a cupholder (as in that joke) or maybe something along the line of crop circles.

You've already seen this probably:
http://www.jokesandhumor.com/jokes/pictures/cropcircles.jpg

(Glad to see you again Andrew! I found you by looking at my webstat links. Please excuse if this is a double post. I seem to be having difficulty interpreting the characters on the verification image - I'll try one more time and then I give up - oh wait!! is THIS the April fool's joke?)

re: Petty theft

acarpenter — Sun, 03 Apr 2005 00:36:00 GMT

Uh... don't you have any type of Security? a monitor perhaps. A CAMERA?

re: Umbrellas

acarpenter — Thu, 31 Mar 2005 13:00:00 GMT

When faced with one of those arrogant sods with umbrellas charging along the centre of the pavement expecting every to jump aside because they are more important I just pretend not to notice them as they approach and if they don't step aside and walk round me I stop dead in my tracks and look surprised to see someone behaving so selfishly. This usually does the trick. If one ever failed to take avoiding action I would throw my arms in front of my face and brace for impact. It would only have to happen once and they'd be cured. Incidently, that's a good way to deal with anyone charging along expecting people to get out of their way whether it be in a supermarket, in the street or in a public swimming pool. You just stop dead and stare at them in the eyes. There's no way they are going to crash into you. If they do, they won't do it again.

re: Giving it a try

acarpenter — Mon, 28 Mar 2005 15:03:00 GMT

David, thanks for replying. I only noticed it because I was trying out FeatherLinux and the Firefox browser. Perhaps it was just a quirk of that combination. If you say it looks fine, I'll take your word for it and not panic. Andrew.

re: Giving it a try

acarpenter — Mon, 28 Mar 2005 12:39:00 GMT

I've always used Firefox to read your blog and I can't see a problem.

re: Petty theft

acarpenter — Thu, 24 Mar 2005 15:23:00 GMT

Tell me about it, it's a sad world at the moment. Kids have been brought up without fear or respect of others. I think corporal punishment is wrong but most kids need a threat of that kind to keep in line until they learn respect and tact.

My car was broken into a week ago. They stole a straw hat I bought on holiday and some of my daft CDR compilations. I'm sure they were looking for more and stole the hat out of pure spite when they couldn't find the stereo facia, but they did £134-worth of damage on the way!

Grrr. Fixed today though.

re: Missing the point...

acarpenter — Thu, 24 Mar 2005 14:47:00 GMT

That story inspired me to make this. If this blog doesn't like the pre tags it will probably look rubbish.
<pre>
I'm going to the One of the cartridges in
shops, do you need the inkjet printer is empty.
anything? Can you get a replacement?
,
`
## ||| _
#]] <'|| |_)
.||. |_>>. _[__]
__________dd____________ | |>> | |____________________dp

Sure. Beige.
What colour is it? ,
,
## ||| _
[[# ||'> |_)
|| |_>>. _[__]
______d d_______________ | |>> | |____________________dp</pre>

re: Printers

acarpenter — Tue, 22 Mar 2005 18:27:00 GMT

or just click this to see it in my blog - sorry i was having probs finding the archive .....

http://ruthlessjack.blogspot.com/2005/02/actual-customer-complaint.html

re: Printers

acarpenter — Tue, 22 Mar 2005 18:25:00 GMT

Mate you love this - check my link for a funny story incorporating printers

This is the sort of call i get from my damned customers - Imagine this and if you can put on an old womans voice whilst reading aloud

"Hello is Simon there pleeese" - "yes thats me how can i help you" - "my printer seems to have broken can you come and repair it please i have a church newsletter i need to print for this weeks get together" ----deep breate and a pause and i replied --- " Yes ok madam but before i do that can i ask you take the toner out of the machine - shake it and replace - You may find its only a toner problem" - "ok Simon i'll do that - hold on one minute"

2 minutes pass and an almighty scream is heard from my phone

"Simon - i need your help theres a mouse in my printer" - "*im laughing - no seriously Madam there cannot be a mouse in your printer they are a very hot place to be and it wouldnt last 1 minute" --- The old lady then paused and explained that she could proove it with a photo......

I couldnt beleive what she managed to email me - Tell me if you find this fooking hilarious!

NOW CLICK THE IMAGE

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/226/1535/1024/jam.jpg